Host: Quinlan Nightshade
“I’d rather be a freak with a purpose than a clone without a soul”
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”-Oscar Wilde
THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE ODDBALL part 1
So today’s topic we’ll be diving into will be about being an oddball. And being an oddball is basically enjoying the authenticity of being unique and different from people and from certain standards of today’s world. But first let’s dive into the word. Now what is an oddball? Well…. It basically describes a person being eccentric. Or in more better terms being strange or bizarre. And me, myself included i’m fully aware that i’m an oddball especially growing up i knew i stand out from people and i was aware of that but, when your a small age you tried to fit in and make yourself look “normal” over time the more you try to ignore that part of yourself the more it surface and then we finally come to terms to be happy and blessed being uniquely different as it helps discover parts of yourself that makes us happy and to be able to be different than everyone else. Especially when society basically tries to teach us that everyone has to be the same or in some subtle ways saying that people can be different than everyone else but they still want to make sure that everyone will be the same. But people that really stick out from the crowd will really make sure that they don’t try to fit in. or that they don’t dress or think like everyone else.
Being an oddball is both a blessing and a curse because there’s going to be a lot of drawbacks because society can be a very ugly place. To me being an oddball has its similarities of frankenstein. Because let’s be real when people see someone that is completely different from them and what society considers normal and non normal. Being on the spectrum of being extremely out of place in society people will…well unfortunately treat you like a freak or a monster. And those words are extremely ugly.
But one thing I learned is that when you’re on the spectrum of being called “odd” there’s many benefits that come from it. There are many famous people that embraced it, allowing themselves to be extremely authentic and having no shame in what they say or do. And many people actually enjoy their work. As many people understand and learn from their standpoint, making people become more understanding instead of judging them. Even though at some points in their younger age and time they were bullied and hated for their thoughts and beliefs. Or how they dressed or presented themselves. Definitely between how people dress some enjoy finding creative ways to be authentic and especially when I was a child being poor and barely having enough money for clothes, yet I still found ways to try and express myself. Even though I tried to embrace being that part of me. Or I’ll have notebooks, jackets, shoes…the list can go on. But … .society has a dark cruel way of teaching you. You can either embrace it and try not to let people tell you otherwise or deter you from enjoying being yourself unapologetic about everything you say or do and continue being yourself. With a smile on your face or pride in your heart. Or unfortunately in most cases and including myself let the negative words and thinking bother you like little daggers stabbing away at you… and trust me it’s not a fun or comfortable feeling. Being made fun of everything about yourself. And unfortunately you don’t feel like being that authentic part of yourself anymore. You’ll just start to conform to social norms like everyone else. And I’ll admit when going through that act at a young age will definitely stick with you for a long time. And more in my case as well when you let others say or project onto you it will definitely eat away at you mentally. And when that happens you’ll just hate yourself more. And ignore that part of yourself especially when you try to wear the same clothes as everyone else. Talk like everyone else. speech, act…ugh all of it becomes annoying and exhausting. But another thing I learned is when you’re a child you don’t have that many people that would stand behind you or encourage you fully or correctly. Even when you want approval or affection from support you won’t get it. Most people are blessed to receive something like that but, when you’re on the other side and barely receive anything like that it definitely hurts more. And then you start to have all those negative emotions and endless whirlpools in your mind and unfortunately you’re going to be stuck there for a really long time. But the surprising thing is hope is still around. There is still hope behind it. Because parts of yourself that you ignore will start to surface and little by little it would actually help you finally stir back to your correct path. Sometimes you just have to just rely on yourself and just embrace and cheer yourself on. If others don’t do it for you then fuck em! If you’re not getting the love and support you deserve. That’s on them, not on you! Life and society might enjoy kicking you down? Or using you as an example to make sure people don’t do what you do. But again that’s them not YOU!!! Because just what you’ll still continue to survive and thrive being yourself. And when you accept yourself more. You’ll see that other people also enjoy being themselves. That they enjoy being authentic and don’t feel sorry for being themselves. And the beauty of it: Having the same ideas, concepts, and dressing patterns. When you find the right people or finally accept yourself it’s the most rejuvenating feeling ever. And when I started to embrace myself more personally I didn’t feel bad or ashamed of it either. I was very comfortable being me. And found quite a few people that I can have fun interesting topics with. Enjoy being on the fashion scene that wasn’t normal to most people. But I didn’t really care. And I even got more compliments on my style and actually got a lot of head nods of approval. Like in the summer, I enjoy wearing short Japanese kimonos. Even though some would say “ well that’s nothing. People already do that.” and good for them but, i don’t care because it’s about me and nobody else. I enjoy wearing them with a wonderful bizarre shirt I get from hot topic or spencers and I enjoy it fully with pride. And I enjoy how my outfits and accessories look. So I really don’t care what others say or do.
When stuck in the uniqueness of being once authentic self, that’s where all the magic begins. Owning your own magic without being apologetic. Many famous figures that we know and still love to this day were once bullied, ridiculed, or misunderstood. but they held onto their truth, and eventually, the world came to respect and appreciate them.
And another magical and wonderful thing of being an oddball; means refusing to dim your light just because it makes others uncomfortable. It means embracing your quirks, your unconventional thoughts. And your unique way of seeing the world. And when you do, you’ll find that there’s beauty in standing apart from the crowd. So, whether you’re an artist, a thinker, a dreamer, or just someone who doesn’t quite fit the mold. Just remember this: the world needs true authentic oddballs! The ones who breaks the rules. The one challenges norms. The ones who see the world differently and dare to be themselves despite it all.
And let’s also face it there are plenty of people that hold true to enjoying shaking up the norms of society. First prime example is definitely drag queens. And they have no problem being they’re authentic self. From the lovely beloved showed queer as folks: “It takes more courage to wear a dress for an hour. Then it does to wear a suit for a lifetime.” and that sentence is the prime example to be brave no matter what! Even if that means to be judged or shamed. But you don’t let that fucking stop you no matter what happens. Like the popular and well beloved drag queen mother of us all! MISS RUPAUL herself standing tall and proud of being against the norms of society and homophobia. And still knows how to walk the catwalk with thick stilettos heels. And have no shame in being himself. Drag queens are the fierce and powerful warriors that know how to harbor and own one’s odd authenticity. They take the very thing that makes them “different” and transform into art and celebration. Their performances often deliberately challenge social norms while creating spaces where others feel free to express themselves authentically. The way drag culture has evolved from underground clubs to mainstream visibility while maintaining its subversive spirit. And continues to show how being unapologetically different can gradually shift cultural boundaries.
Drag culture with oddball identity:
– Drag queens embody the ultimate rejection of societal pressure to “fit in”, creating art from what makes them different.
-Their transformation of gender expression into performance art challenges fundamental social constructs
-Many drag performers describe finding their true selves through embracing what others might call “weird” or “indifferent”
-Historical roles of drag queens is also about creating a safe space for others oddballs and outsiders to encourage them to bloom and blossom in being who they truly are.
-the contrast between elaborate stage personas and everyday life shows how being an oddball can be both an art statement and embracing the outside thinking from the way of life.
And looking at other famous figures, like Lady Gaga, prince, junji ito, hayao miyazaki, stephen king, oscar wilde, emily dickinson, virginia woolf, edgar allen poe, david bowie, tim burton. …. Seriously people, the list is so long that they knew, who they are and embrace their true selves no matter what the world thinks of them.
Broader theme about being an oddball:
-The power of turning what makes you “strange” into your greatest strength.
-How being an oddball often means seeing beauty or interest in things others find disturbing or strange.
-The relationships between being an oddball and creating new artistic perspectives.
-The importance of authenticity even when it makes others uncomfortable.
-Overall key importance of welcoming others within a safe space.
And without them being their most authentic, we wouldn’t have many books, movies, television or music. That shakes us from the core and makes us also want to embrace the bizarre and weird side of ourselves. Even throughout history it either lets us enjoy being who we are or….unfortunately in horrible cases again, going back to the whole frankenstein monster creation aspect and people have treated others like that and it definitely hasn’t been pretty about it. Even though now in the new era of actually fully allowing change and embracing it with joy. But there will always be people in the back booing and calling people ugly names just because they refuse to let go. And let others be happy but as we also learn that’s their problem not ours and let’s continue being who we are without shame.
The lovely people that embrace their titles of authenticity of being oddballs:
-Prince/ deliberately blurred gender boundaries when it was far less accepted, wearing heels, makeup, and ruffled clothing.
-Changing his name to an unpronounceable symbol, forcing the media to call him “The Artist Formerly Known as Prince.”
-Lady Gaga/ used outrageous fashion to challenge what was considered acceptable
-Turned her early experiences of being bullied for being “weird” into fuel for artistic expression.
-Creating the concept of her signature “Little Monsters” giving other oddballs a community and identity.
-Always creates and cultivates an air of mystery and strangeness and knows how to change up everything when people least expect it.
-Successfully transitioned between extreme avant-grade and traditional entertainment while maintaining her core oddball identity.
-Using her platform to advocate for other “outsiders” and marginalized groups.
-Stephen king/ embraced being the “weird kid” who wrote disturbing stories, turned his addiction recovery and near-death experience into powerful metaphors in his work.
-Oscar wilde/ deliberating cultivated his eccentric persona, wearing outlandish clothes and making provoking statements that challenged Victorian society.
-Emily dickinson/ became best known for becoming “the woman in white”, choosing isolation and writing unconventional poetry that broke all traditional rules.
-Virginia woolf/ explored mental illness and gender fluidity in her work long before people in society decided to talk about them openly.
-Edgar Allan poe/ lived an unusually dramatic life, turning his obsession with death and madness into revolutionary literature.
-David bowie/ created multiple personas just to explore different aspects of oddball identity.
-Bjork/ known for avant-garde music and outlandish fashion including her famous swan dress.
-Grace jones/ challenged gender and racial norms through androgynous styling and bold performance.
– Marilyn manson/ created shocking personas while being surprisingly articulate and thoughtful.
-Frank zappa/ known for complex musical compositions and refusing to follow commercial trends.
-Klaus nomi/ combined opera new wave while maintaining an alien-like persona.
-Nina hagen/ “the godmother of punk” known for her theatrical, operatic performances.
-Tom waits/ cultivated a unique growling voice and eccentric storytelling style
-Salvador dali/ famous for his surreal art and equally surreal public persona
-Andy warhol/ turned his odd personality into art, making films of people sleeping and eating.
-William blake/ created his own mythology and claimed to see angels in trees
-Yayoi kusama/ lives in a mental hospital by choice while creating polka-dot art installations
-Hunter S. thompson/ creating gonzo journalism and lived an infamously eccentric lifestyle
-Charles dickens/ known for talking to his characters and walking london streets at night
-H.P. lovecraft/ lived as a recluse while creating cosmic horror that influenced generations
-John waters/ “ the pope of trash” who made deliberately offensive films into art
-Helen bonham carter/ embrace eccentric roles and fashion choices
-Andy kaufman/ pushed the boundaries of comedy and performance art
-Peter capaldi/ known for intense performances and unusual artistic background
-Vincent price/ made horror elegant and became an icon of sophisticated spookiness
-David lynch/ created surreal films and well famous tv show, while maintaining an oddly wholesome public image
-Tilda swinton/ known for gender-fluid roles and avant-garde fashion
-Janelle monae/ created an android persona to explore identity and society
-FKA twigs/ combines unusual music with performance art and visual storytelling
-Jeff goldblum/ turned his natural eccentricity into a beloved public persona
-Bill murray/ known for random public appearances and unconventional behavior
-Tim burton/ built his entire career on celebrating outsiders and misfits, from edward scissorhands to jack skellington and beloved character that we all know and still love beetlejuice
– Hayao miyazaki/ known for being notably antisocial and critical of modern life, yet creates worlds that celebrate human connection and always creates animations that always captures our eyes and hearts
-junji ito’s/ his ordinary, cheerful personality versus the cosmic horror of his work shows how being an oddball isn’t always visible on the surface
-Nikola tesla/ misunderstood genius, worked in isolation yet paved the way for modern electricity
-Vincent van gogh/ mocked and dismissed during his lifetime, is now one of the most celebrated artists in history
-Willem dafoe/ known for his distintive, unconventional appereance that he never tried ti change or hide. Along with deliberately choosing bizarre, eccentric roles that other actors might avoid.
-“Weird Al”Yankovic/ made his entire career out of being deliberately werid and proud of it. Turned parody music into a respected art form. And maintained his quirky persona for decades without compromising, staying true to his clean, quirky humor despite changing trends.
Told you the list was long but it definitely shows the creativity that each individual carries about themselves and they aren’t apologetic about it either. But now let’s turn to the ugly side and drawbacks of being an oddball and let’s face it each and everyone have experienced and myself included and it’s never a happy picture about it either. Most of us have been bullied or shamed from being who we are. Or growing in harsh and difficult situations that either made us or broke us. Being an oddball isn’t just about surviving the punishments that comes with it. Society does not just ignore those who don’t conform; it actively rejects, isolates, and brutalizes them. We all felt them all first hand … .and it was the most ugly and horrible to experience and feel.
We’re not just talking about being “misunderstood.” we’re talking about the absolute deep cutting wounds that come from being treated like an outsider in a world that demands sameness. This is the side of being an oddball that people don’t romanticize the side that leaves scars.
-schools is a battleground/ odd kids are singled out, mocked, and tormented for the smallest differences, how they dress. talked which would make you not want to say anything ever again, or in most of the cases think.
-teachers and authority figures rarely step in/ instead of protecting us, they often encourage conformity by telling us to “fit in” or “stop being so different.” or in most cases just really don’t do anything when they see it with their own eyes and don’t even try to help or fix the situation. Just turning a blind eye…and i always fucking hated that.
-peers turn to enemies/ the people who should have been friends instead become the ones who remind us daily that we don’t belong. Even the same thing can be said about family as well. Some of us endured years of relentless bullying, not just from classmates but from society itself. Even into adulthood, that pattern of rejection continues. Only now it’s disguised as “social appropriation” or “professional expectations.”
-job interviews become interrogation/ employers prefer “culture fit” over individuality, which means many oddballs get passed over.
-social circles are closed off/ if you don’t match the group’s energy, you’re subtly excluded, left out of invites, conversations, or inside jokes.
-romantic relationships are harder to form/ being different often means being perceived as “too much” or “too complicated”
And life enjoys continuing with the ups and downs. Oh it enjoys continuing with the downs as we evolve and move through life as it also evolves right along with you. Once leaving school it evolves into new forms. The consistent rejected, judged, and excluded does something to you. Over time, the world’s cruelty starts seeping into your mind, planting dangerous thoughts and self-doubts. And that will mentally destroy you. Always asking yourself these types of questions: “maybe I really am the problem?” “If I change, people might like me. Or accept me more?” or facing the pressure of all of it…. ..i will alway be alone…” years of rejection can make you wonder if there’s something inherently wrong with you. The temptation to conform is strong, even when it comes killing the parts of yourself to fit in. which makes isolation feel like a death sentence, making loneliness unbearable.
And when all that already spirals inside your mind things begin to rise: anxiety, depression, anger and resentment, and self-hatred. And one particularly will be that annoying voice in the back of your mind that is going to hang on and never let go. Creating nothing but a psychological warfare against yourself, fueled by years of rejection. Which leads to masking. Hiding their true selves behind a mask just to survive. Pretending to be more “normal” just to fit in social norms. Changing the way they talk, dress, or express themselves. And suppressing their real opinions to avoid conflict.
But wearing a mask for too long will gradually destroy the true person underneath. Many oddballs wake up one day realizing that they don’t recognize themselves anymore. And that’s another sad tragedy right there! Losing your true identity just because people around you find it uncomfortable. And then this ugly side of one selves starts to surface. Shutting the world out all entirely. Becoming cold, distant, and emotionally unavailable. Stop trying to form connections with people because of past hurt and trauma. Because they became so used to people betraying them in the past that they’ll always expect betrayal from people. And embrace their new persona of being cold and harsh to people and themselves. And they’ll have this always carved in the back of their minds “….if the world doesn’t care about me, why should I care about it?” and having those words in your mind consistently is an endless prison that will wear you down making you feel like you’re forever drowning, never able to resurface. Again going back to the whole frankenstein monster again because let’s be real society really is the true monsters of human nature. And TheFrankenstein monster was the true victim of everything. He didn’t ask to be created to be different. He didn’t ask to be in a world that was both cruel and harsh. And that’s what it’s like to be an oddball. Forever being branded, punished or ostracized for being different. And the most thing of that being hated as you lived. But celebrated after death and that is the cruelest part of it all.
Already battling within themselves and society. That also shows the world at its most cruelest point. mocking, alienating, and punishing those who dare to be different, until it’s too late. Then suddenly, the same people ignored or ridiculed you and pretended they always admired you. And let’s also be real about that? If someone truly cared and admired your bravery and enjoyed standing by your side as you challenge the world as who you really are. They will stand by you no matter what and still respect you and your name both in life and in death. And the pathetic ones that decided to say something after you’re gone? They…. .. they are the true cowards. Because they were afraid of being who they are and couldn’t actually look you in the eyes and actually say it. And unfortunately it’s a cycle that has played out over and over again throughout history. The misunderstood, the rebels, the outsiders. Cast out in life, but glorified in death. Even though yes some actually gained and received praise in both life and death that i won’t deny. But we also remember that the ones that suffer the most in life weren’t that lucky and didn’t receive the praise that they should have. It didn’t happen until it was already too late.
But as we learn. We grow. We listen we start saying “FUCK IT” do things on your own terms! life is too short and why conform yourself to a society that’s afraid to embrace themselves or anything new. So it’s best to accept and embrace who you are and just let your light shine through no matter what the outcome looks like. No more seeking validation. No more chasing for people’s acceptance. Just be you! Don’t wait for validation! Build your own personal space! Expose the hypocrisy! And support yourself and fellow oddballs! The cruelest part of being an oddball is knowing that the world may never truly value you until you’re gone. But the greatest act of defiance? Refusing to let that stop you from living. Because at the end of it all, being an oddball means you live by your own rules. And if society refuses to recognize it or accept your wroth? Then honey, that’s their loss not yours. so, fuck waiting for death to be appreciated. I say Be the oddball now! Be a legend now! And if the world still doesn’t get it? Oh fucking well that’s not your problem. Being an oddball isn’t just about being unique? It’s about surviving in a world that doesn’t want you to be. And the truth is, it’s not always a story with a happy ending.
But for those who can endure? Those who can find their path despite the rejections, the loneliness, and the cruelty? They are the ones who are able to leave a mark that nobody else can erase. And that, my fellow oddballs, is why we keep going. We keep fighting and break free from what is poison to us and embrace who we truly are. And it definitely took me a long time to finally come to terms with who I am. I enjoy not having my family around because fuck them. They were never truly supportive! They say they’re supportive but I know what support looks like and never received it from them. So if you have family, or friends that claim that they actually love or support you then we both know that it’s a lie. Don’t lie to yourself. Don’t push or destroy who you are because if you change yourself for anyone. and they don’t appreciate when you do then they don’t deserve you for who you truly are. So embrace every part of yourself and embrace others that walk along the same path as you and help others to grow and embrace who they truly are. Because in the end being an oddball isn’t about being different. It’s about being free.
to be continued….
Beautiful Enigmas 